Stupid CEO Tricks and Other Resume Busters

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The CEO of Radio Shack appears headed toward the exits because he lied about getting a bachelors degree from Pacific Coast Baptist College.  WHERE?  Pacific Coast Baptist College.  Pacific Coast no longer exists and what is left has moved to Oklahoma but the name is not Pacific Coast because, as you might have guessed, Oklahoma does not have a Pacific coast.  Actually it doesn't have any coast at all.

One might think that if you are going to lie about a degree, lie about something big like Harvard or Stanford.  That really isn't the point.  The point is don't lie.  It's not really worth it.  With Google and Bush's 'domestic spying'  program your life is an open book so don't bother.  As my mother once told me, "Don't lie and then you don't have to remember what you said."  Think about it.

But there is a more subtle form of 'lying' and everybody does it.  It's a gray area but can make or break your being hired.  It is known as 'resume polishing' and somewhat of an art and a savvy boss can catch you in a lie, or embellishment, every time.

But first, here are the facts facing the person reading your resume.  We will asume that the job you are applying for requires a college degree, 1-3 years experience and is a postion where the person is expected to move up into management ie, not a dead end job.  Through ads or going to recruiters or college career centers, the hiring manager ends up with no less than a hundred and perhaps as many as three hundred resumes.  Most HR departments will offer to 'pre-screen' the resumes and 'make your life easier' as a manager but I always refused because HR people have lists of requirements and if your resume doesn't meet all those requirements, your resume goes in the basket.  I don't want that kind of help because I will waive requirements--a person may not have taken advanced calculus but if they swam the English Channel in March, I want to talk to them.   

Back to the resume processing business.  I have read that the average hiring manager spends one to two minutes reviewing a resume.  Don't believe it.  15 to 30 seconds, tops.  That's right, the resume you have spent hours on gets 30 seconds.  That 's the way it goes, get over it.  And the number one way to turn me, the hiring manager, off and shove your resume to the bottom of the pile is to Tell Me What You Want.

This is the resume equivalent of a Mission Statement.  "Desire rewarding and motivating position to enhance my skills and talents...."  Full stop.  The sound of paper being wadded up and bouncing off the waste basket.  I am not your personal coach.  I am hiring somebody after working my butt off, convincing my boss we need help, offering to sleep with anyone in HR to get the job approved and now you tell me that you "Desire rewarding and motivating..."  Gnashing of teeth.

I would love to see this.  "Desire position where I can work my butt off to make my boss look good and we both succeed and make a lot of money."  I'm knocking the door off my office, trying to get down to HR to get this person in here before somebody else grabs them.

Number Two reason for making the hiring manager toss a resume.  The "I" word.  ""I" saved the company a million dollars through cost cutting."  "I" increased sales by 12% through personal initiative."  "I" managed a team that reduced marketing expenses by 25%."  Now if you did swim the English Channel in March I may believe that (but I will check it out) but I doubt very much that you, and you alone, saved the company a million dollars, or increased sales by yourself by 12% or that you managed any team whatsoever because nobody lets 23 or 24 year olds run anything except as quarterbacks for professional football teams and there aren't many of them around.

I WOULD pay attention to "Junior member of team appointed by CEO to review and recommend changes to cost structure of company.  Team recommendations resulted in annual savings in excess of $1 million."  Here's why:

Junior-you admit you are the junior but you were picked by the CEO or recommended by someone to the CEO.

member of team-not "I", member.  Team, no I in team.  There is 'me' but let's not quibble.

CEO-you got some exposure and may know how not to embarass yourself, and me, around senior management.

review and recommend-indicates analysis and presentation.

team-theres that word again.

$1 million-you could say $10 million or $100 million because by now I want to believe what you tell me.

So if your resume is shooting blanks and getting no results, take a real long hard look and see if 1) the resume is about you and not the hiring manager and 2) is just outright unbelievable.

And make sure the facts are straight or they will catch up with you.  Just ask the CEO at RadioShack.

   

Comments

[Hermes]

The negotiators appeared to be having a hard time defining what kind of cuts would occur at the end of the year 2012 if Congress failed to act on the committee’s recommendations.

[scoremore]

Most HR departments will offer to 'pre-screen' the resumes and 'make your life easier' as a manager but I always refused because HR people have lists of requirements and if your resume doesn't meet all those requirements, your resume goes in the basket...great lens will credit this.

[Jordan 4]

Morality may consist solely in the courage of making a choice. (Leon Nlum, French statesman)

[nike shox o'nine]

Really, what we want now, is not laws, against crime, but a law against insanity. (Mark Twain, American writer)

[Nursing cover]

wow thanks for the link!!!

[Stephen Jones]

Hi

Personally, I've seen many CVs [resumes] with blatant lies. For instance, MBAs from non-existent colleges.
Most candidates, whether senior or junior, assume that hiring managers won't check ... which isn't always the case!

Regards

Stephen Jones, CEO
http://www.accjobs.com

[Henk]

This is actually interesting. Maybe I need to put a bit less about work and a bit more about myself in the CV.
About the time when I still did silly things. Why did I stop doing silly things ? Just like my job now is more interesting than the reason why I was kicked out of my previous job. Everybody would fall asleep when I talk about my job. No one would believe me when I talk about how I lost my previous job.
Besides, I was right, that CEO was destroying the company. But you're not supposed to say that aloud ...

However, to get back on the subject of swimming the channel.
Something is wrong with me !!! I did not swim the channel but I did cross the bloody Pyrenees on a mountainbike last year and
my arse is still hurting :)
Perhaps I should mention it in my CV :)

Thanks ! I'll have to think about this !
Let's give the next reviewer of my CV some fun.