I Quit

I have one major failing.  Well, some people would say more than one.  But for me, I have one--I think I can fix anything.  World peace?  No problem.  Cancer?  Piece of cake.  Chicago Cubs?  Well, maybe I can't fix everything. 

But I think I can get anybody a job.  And I can but not if the other person really doesn't make the effort.  The biggest problem I have is that nobody says they don't want a job so I expend a bunch of emotional capital running around doing silly things like

-working on resumes

-recommending the libary as a great source for 'getting a job' books

-roaming, reading and emailing links to jobs in newspapers and websites

-doing industry reviews to find out who is hiring

-generally being a cheerleader for people doing some of the hardest work there is: finding a job.

But no more.  I quit.  If someone wants help ok but I need some reciprocal effort.  My new rule is no effort, no help.  So there.

Lack of effort is so evident that even I, the ultimate fixer, should be able to see it and recognize a lost cause when I see it. 

A quick analysis of our recent correspondence.

I graduated with a general social science degree, with which I intended to go to law school.  I was five credits short of a geography degree and had sufficient credits for the soc sci degree, and took it because I didn't see any particular advantage in a geography degree and wanted to get on with my life.  My coursework included a lot of computer mapping and a minor in comp sci.  I earned 90% of my college expenses and graduated with a debt load which would have been easily manageable on a normal income.  Also, since the cost of law school was soaring at the time, and since I was watching others go to law school and not be able to make a living as a lawyer, in a fit of risk aversion I decided not to go to law school.

The takeaway here is "yeah, I have a college degree but a worthless major."  Well, who picked the major?  You did.  Thought of law school but nobody could make a living as a lawyer.  Nobody?  I don't think so.

My college placement office wouldn't let me interview for IT jobs because it considered my comp sci coursework insufficient to meet employer requirements; I did get one on-campus IT interview: I was beat out for that job by another graduating student who had had related Work-Study employment, i.e. that person had experience I lacked.

This is code for not my fault.  A conspiracy of the placement office.

I graduated in the middle of a recession, in a local economy that was even more depressed.  Two-thirds of our graduating students were leaving the state for employment elsewhere.  I took a data entry job with a startup I knew personally, working with poorly handwritten records.   

Went through this yesterday and a lot of people went through that recession including me.

But enough.  I've had it.  For every suggestion there will be a 'but' or another problem. 

This from a reader with a great insight into this issue.

Sounds like this guy has a lot of excuses... or maybe he's just given up. Probably both. Failure at least means you're trying. A buddy of mine moved out west, started a company (did well for a while, but was a sole proprietor working himself to death), ultimately he "failed" when his wife left him (she didn't like the hours he worked). He moved back east, and used the experience to net a Director-level position in a large company. Doing well now (and has a new wife). My point? Doing something and failing is better than doing nothing and making excuses.

Failure at least means you're trying.  What an insight.  Motion begets motion.  But until I see some I'm not going to be the only one trying so for now, I quit.

Comments

[Spice]

This is a quote from my friend but highly applicable to all areas of life. "There are 1000 reasons and ways why things won't work. But there is always ONE reason and definitely ONE way things will work for you. " Its easy to come up 1000 excuses, it takes a lot of perseverance to find That ONE way.. and nobody else can find or do it for you.

[axjms]

I do have some compassion for the guy because a lifetime of toil and hard knocks can wear down anyone's hope and drive. However, you are absolutely right in recognizing despondency and refusing to accomodate his need to for justification. The simple fact is we all have choices and those choices once made have consequences.

[Kira]

Somehow I found a job just fine without ever utilizing the job center at my school.. I doubt that they put a chokehold on him and found a way to prevent him from applying to IT jobs on his own.

And not wanting to go to law school because "no one" is making a living as a lawyer? Hello, what happened to wanting to go to law school because you want to be a lawyer, not because you want to make money??

[Margot]

I'm so glad you quit. I feel that you, Dad, did your best to make light of his situation and was as forward thinking as possible. This guy was annoying me with his excuses and blaming everyone else for his problems. Looking for a job sucks, and it's easy to blame others for the difficulties of the process. Ultimately it's up to you to suck it up, not take it personally, and make something of yourself whether your 25 or 55.