Stupid Tests

Came across an article in career.journal that brought back a lot of bad memories.  The link is http://www.careerjournal.com/jobhunting/interviewing/20060801-needleman.html?cjpos=home_whatsnew_major

Seems like Human Resources has run amuck again.  More firms, like in most firms, are making prospective employees take personality tests before they are hired.  I, readers, have mastered this little task, I think, as I had to take one once and passed with flying colors.  The key, at least to me, is to be positive and action oriented.  But not unthinking or critical.  Sympathetic but not a push over.  Decision maker but deliberative.  Strong but have feelings.  Get the picture?  How do you answer these stupid questions and not blow your chance at the job?  You don't want to come across as Hitler or a serial killer but you also don't want to be considered unable to make a decision. 

Guess we have to go by experience and recount how I successfully completed the task and one of my employees did not.  A few years ago I interviewed for the job of vp and treasurer of LSG Sky Chefs, the world's largest airline catering company and a truly screwed up place.  But looked like fun even though my future boss was later described by an investment banker as a "SS tank commander" type.  I figured if he could pass the test so could I.   Interviewed with the CFO, the CEO, VP of Marketing and knew I was hitting home runs.  Got the offer and got the package.  Not great but it was a VP job that I thought I could leverage, and did, to better things in the long run.

But first the test.  My future boss was a little embarrassed by the whole thing but seems the CEO was a total believer and nobody got hired without passing the TEST.  Ok with me.  Arranged it for 5:30 on a week night when I would get the Call.  Went in my office, closed the door and waited for the Call.  Which came from a housewife with a screaming kid in the background, living somewhere around Chicago.  We talked about Chicago for awhile and then came the questions.  Took about an hour which is average because they don't want you to remember how you answered the earlier questions.  They want to see how consistent you are.  A lot of "If you were a tree, what kind of..." type questions.  The only one I remember exactly was "Would you rather read a book or go to a party?'  Hit that one out of the park.  YOU always want to go to the party, you can read a book anytime.  So passed the test and went to work for the SS tank commander.

Needed a credit manager.  One of my guys at my old job was having a bad time and figured I could hire him away.  We will call him Jay because that is his name.  I hired Jay straight out of MBA school and he is the most caring, considerate, easy going, helpful guys on the planet.  If you need help moving, don't call me, call Jay. 

So brought him in, interviewed him around, everybody liked him.  Got the go ahead except for the TEST.  No problem.  Jay took the TEST.  My boss walked in, closed the door and said don't hire Jay--he had flunked.  He was political, selfish, not a team player and hated his mother.  Jay?  Couldn't be.  I pleaded.  They must have called Charles Manson by mistake.  No go.  No Jay.

The best I could do was another chance.  Take the TEST again.  And he flunked it again.  Worse.  He was everything short of a pedophile. 

And this is where I got nasty.  Sky Chefs was always short of money and people and Jay was cheap.  Well, not cheap, but cheap for all the work he was going to be doing.  So I appealed to the baser side of my boss.  Anybody else would be $15 grand more than Jay.  Not sure how I came up with that but it worked.  My boss wiggled out of the TEST by noting that Jay would not supervise anyone so he couldn't be selfish, exploitive, or political to his non-existent employees.  Nor could he molest any of them.  Jay got hired.

Guess that isn't much help with passing any tests out there but it does show, to me anyway, how stupid and wrong such tests really are and how dangerous they can be. 

Did see one thing in the article--a link to a pre-test test.  So I took it.  Can't wait for the results which I should have tomorrow.  Stay tuned. 

Comments

[Jay]

Hey....That's me!!!

Yep. It happened. Wife loved it. She thought I was a boring, hick from the sticks. She felt better after I flunked.

Lasted 10 months at Sky Chefs and then followed Bill to job #3.

I recently threw my resume at a Treasurer position. The company took resumes via the web (I really don't like those processes). Well the registration process included a twenty or thirty questions test similar to the Sky Chef one. Well...I haven't heard back yet, guess I came out an axe murderer this time.